Why do some people turn out the way they become? Is there a hope in change? Why are people obese? Why are some shy? Why are some afraid to step out of their comfort zone? Why do many stop fighting and pushing forward? Why are some rude?

Will I become them? I am so afraid of what I will become, of what I turn out to be and sometimes I am hard on myself for the Mr. Hyde in me. Have I become selfish like them? I have become more irritated by gestures of others lately, and have forgotten to think twice ahead, that the way people behave may be because that they too have their own personal problems and lots on their mind. I keep thinking that it doesn't mean that they have to behave that way. It's so inconsiderate. Am I being pushed over again or am I trying to practice being patient and tolerant? What am I? I feel like I have been stepped, pushed and shoved at all angles.

I am scared of who I will be, do I even have the chance to create who I will become in the future? Will I be cynical? Will I be boring? Will I become the person I don't want to be? Will I lose fate? Will I lose hope? Will things turn out the way I didn't want it to?

I am losing my faith again. This I leave it to you dear Lord. For I need to rest. I need to recover.

Here's to the first day of CNY 2009 in Chinatown! Got out of work at lunch time to take some photos, and so happen I stumbled across this event :)


Btw, I also load some pics as well as my Nasi Lemak dish that we made for our kiwi mates CNY eve! So proud ok...

Wishing ALL of you who reads this page and who celebrates it a very Happy Chinese New Year! May this year bring more happiness, joy, laughter and of course prosperity despite the recession that is happening....


And as I type this, my whole family is celebrating this by perhaps having dinner at the vietnamese restaurant without me :(


In other news, I shall check out Chinatown's celebration :)

HG's guide to relationships:

Source of reference - Taken from one of the forwarded emails or Relationship articles I read

Heh, relationships is like turning grape into wine...

• Picking which grape to use - start of bonding before relationship.
• Found the right grape - found a suitable match.
• Transforming grape to wine - length of a relationship whereby hardwork and commitment is needed.
• Maintaining the wine bottle by turning it every year - the amount of work and effort put in in order to make the relationship last.
• Tasting the wine - the outcome of the relationship whether or not it is happiness or sadness, hurt or joy.
  

My type of wine - would be similar to Oyster Bay or my classic favourite Brown Brothers Moscato, Mmmm...

I think I will make a point to leave London when it comes to Christmas and New Year this round. It didn't feel beneficial or I do not feel accomplish when all I did was to eat, sleep and watch tv. Felt slightly disappointed as my point in the first place is to travel Europe.

Nevertheless, now I know what it feels like to spend Christmas and New Year in London :)

Missing the internet more these days. And this, I dread going home because it gets superbly boring. And I don't think going out is a good idea at the moment because that's where I get carried away giving out donations to the shops...at home, I either eat, watch tv (not much of a tv person) or just stay in the room, playing music or worse, succumb to playing intermediate spider solitaire...gosh one more month to go...can't wait
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Waiting for the next paycheck...

Right now, I think that money is the only motivation to fulfill our heart desires
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Waiting for my paycheck to arrive since last year Christmas...C'mon....need...it....

Happy New Year y'all! This is definitely not from my camera since I was miles away watching it and it was shadowed by the OXO building :P. Would have been awesome to have stood of where this person was but we were in a fairly medium sized group and thus it gets harder to decide with too many brains together. Hehe. As well as it was absolutely freezing! We were on a bridge slightly away from London Bridge itself so that we could head back quicker when the crowd leaves.

And boy, London crowd is HUGE. Even where we stood had people creating 4 rows from the front of the bridge... o.O on the way, there were lotsa hot dog stands and people selling toys that light up at night.

And yes, I haven't been updating as fast as I want to be since the internet has been down lately. Feeling rather depressed without it and I have been going to McDees a bit more than I want to for their free WiFi's. There's nothing else to do at home besides cook, read, watch tv or clean. Bleh.

NyHoo Christmas was rather decent (eat, sleep and watch tv + open pressies!) at a friend's place.


And from Boxing day onwards, it was shopping shopping and more shopping! D pretty much saved himself for this moment. Sales here are cheap, cheaper than anything so much so that if you're bothered to wake up at 6am for it. I on the other hand kinda shop through the year since style changes constantly so I behaved :P. So here goes my journal shortened:

27th Dec: Shopped
28th Dec: WiFi at McDees
29th Dec: Checked out Darwinism at Natural History Museum. He was superbly interesting and if not for his Grand Dad, he wouldn't have created and proven a fact. But he has somewhat made science boring in the sense that almost everything relates to this fact. The fact of Evolution and Natural Selection. But it is amazing to find out that I somewhat think like him when thinking about life. And when I found a summary to my questions and observations, I feel wiser (cheh wa *kembang*)


Oh and we went more shopping after that,where we checked out Kensington High Street. Stumbled across this place called 'My Old Dutch' and they were selling huge pancakes for £5 on Mondays. So happened it was Monday :D. Milkshake came in 2 cups too!


30th Dec: Shop at Kensington High Street as there were less people and more space. Stumbled across things on the way...







31st Dec: Went for a swim and did 1.3k including sprints and underwater! Super proud. Am wondering about doing Masters swimming now (sprint events) since I think I can do about 32sec for 50m free...hmmm. Headed to a friend's place in Bermondsey before we went to check out the fireworks. We came back cold and shivering but with fried chicken and chips for supper. Mmmm...

1st Jan: Slept in....went out abit late where the shops were closing in an hour but I manage to buy myself an awesome deal. 75% off feather down jacket for £22.50 from Gap. Yowser! I am wondering to myself why did I buy it since I have had experiences with down jackets and told myself not to buy one...and then I got addicted to looking for pants and jeans. Oh no.

Today: Am at work. Need money. Heh.

And if you ever make it to this bottom, has anyone made any resolutions? I feel that I have been quite aimless recently. But I think I have a couple of things I want to do this year. To travel to at least 3 different countries and learn to cook at least 3 dishes on my own.

2008 has changed immensly both personally and globally, and I wonder what 2009 will bring. I am grateful that this celebration has come and gone, as it is a reminder for me to reflect on myself, my goals and to re-direct my focus again. I got an email that mentioned that one does not have to do everything in his / her life on his / her own as there is God to guide the way. It does make me wonder whether I have been doing that, as I haven't been keeping the faith. Hmm...